No means NO
I have been told that when I am disciplining Tai, I should be more stern. Apparently with dogs, the tone of your voice is more important than what you actually say, and according to my roomate, my no’s are enveloped in love and butterflies and sweetness and light because they don’t sound forceful enough. So now, I am practicing with everyone.
Friend: Do you want to go see “Land of the Lost” tonight?. Me: Umm… no. Friend: It’s Will Ferrell, it should be good, come on… Me: NO!Roomie: Do you want some of this [awesomely delicious] dinner that I cooked? Me: NO! [hah! I can say no like the best of ... wait, did I just say no to a home cooked meal?]
Tai: me wants food! scratch, scratch, whimper, scratch… Me: NO! Tai: looks at me with that adorable puppy face, sighs and walks away. Me: [Yes!]
I am so proud of myself. Over saying ‘no’ to my dog – but hey, it’s the little victories.
T-14
I am so happy to be going home for the holidays, and so very blessed that I’ve been always able to make it there every year. This year we will all be together for the first time in ages, plus it’s the little bean’s first Christmas and baptism! So it will be extra special.
The one worry I have is Tai. I will be gone for more than 2 weeks and most of my friends are travelling during the holidays, and honestly, I am a little embarrassed to ask anyone to take care of her for that long. I didn’t want to leave her in a kennel either, especially (the horror!) over Christmas (I know, this is completely irrational as Tai can’t tell it’s the most specialest time of the year. But the idea of my little girl being walled up in a bleak kennel when I will be a) tanning at the beach b) having a belly full of turkey c) surrounded by all the people I adore the most in this world, makes me really sad). So I found someone who can pet sit at her house at a reasonable rate and who is a dog lover. The problem with the dog lover part is that she has three german shepherds who I’m sure are going to scare Tai to death initially. In general though I think it will be a very good idea for her to have to socialize and live with that many other dogs. It will build her character (isn’t that the excuse every parent gives?) (:
Encounters of the Third Kind
[Backstory # 1. Out on a walk with Tai and Bud. Not dark, at all. Suddenly, out of nowhere a... cement pig comes into view]
Me: Weird, what people put in their lawns. But now that I think about it, this is nothing compared to the giant penis made out of Christmas lights.
Tai: That thing strange. I has to investigate. Stops, crouches.
Me: Hee, how cute, Tai thinks it’s real.
Tai: Im huge and tall. I intimidate unidentified standing object into submission. Stares at pig unwaveringly.
Me: Bless her little heart, I say five minutes before she figures it out.
Tai: Why pig thing ignoring me? Tai make it movey. Sun-Tzu says best defense is offense. Stands still and cocks her head, indicating she just the most Brilliant! Idea! Ever:
TAI HEADBUT THING!
[ Headbuts.
Pause..........
Headbuts.
Pause..........
Headbuts.]
Me: Keels over, laughing
Tai: Gets closer to pig. Sniffs. Thinks about it. Thing come in peace. Tai give permission to stay.
Bud: Oooh lookey, a butterfly!
———————————————————————————————
[Backstory # 2. After each walk I bring in Tai through the patio door which has a screen. That's all you need to know. Start scene ]
Tai: I wants home! Wag, wag, prance.Tai roll on carpet and scratchey back and eat jerky while Mom rubs belly! Wag, jump, runs ahead.
Me: Ok Tai, let me unleash you first.
Tai: Ooh, no leash, must run, must get home before Bud, Tai hungry, Tai want to go….. SPLAAAATTTTTT on screen.
Me: Keels over laughing, again.
Tai: Shakes it off. Pig put invisible magnetic shield on. Not nice no more. Rubs eyes with her paws.
Me: Still laughing
Tai: Tai obey superior beings. Me stay outside. Tai scared.
Me: Ok, I opened the screen door silly. Go in. Tai, I said go in. It’s open, see? I’m putting my hand through the doorway. Now I’m putting my other hand. Now I’m doing the hokey pokey.
Tai: Sits there.
Me: Damn it Tai, it’s open now! Will you just budge a little bit? Look Tai! I went inside just fine and I didn’t get hurt. Now I’m standing with half of me inside and half of me outside.
Tai: Me not tricked easy. Mom dummy. She split in half by shield.
Me: You will come in if I have to push, pull or prod you with a cattle stick!
[In here I feel the need to explain that Tai can be one stubborn little bitch. She has the power of 80 horses on her legs, and could hold her own against a sumo wrestler].
Me: Ok fine. You can just sit there, while I rub Bud’s belly and give him beef jerky.
Tai: Mom mine. Mom no touch Bud. I has to beat Shihtzu up. Tai stronger than door, Tai use Force like Yoda.
Tai: Jumps in one fell swoop, and lands inside, amazed. I has the force.
Me: Sheesh, finally. Pats Tai on head.
Tai: Beef jerky!! Wait, wheres belly rub?
Becoming a statistic, kind of
If all goes through, by next week I will be living in a two person, two kid, two car household. Except the other person will be my guy roomate, and the kids will be our dogs. It’s funny how you envision things happening and they come true, but not in the ways you thought they would. God is sneaky that way.
I interviewed the roomate and he seemed like a great guy. I have never roomed (or lived for that matter) with a guy before, so I’m a little apprehensive. I’m glad that he has a dog though, because I think it’s great that both of them will have company during the day. It will definitely take some adjusting – Tai is extremely territorial, and not exactly great with other dogs. When we’re out on a walk, it usually goes:
Me: Oh look honey, there’s a big ass labrador coming this way, be nice, ok? Be a good girl
Tai: Hackles raise up, crouches down
Me: Yeah, ok let’s go to the other side of the street, just in case. Tai, did you notice how she is bigger than you by a factor of 3?
Tai: Must. Protect. My. Territory. Labradors bad. They stinky.
Me (in a sing-song voice): I bet the lab is so nice, she looks so friendly! Crouches down to pet Tai. Good girl, good girl, be calm Tai. Mom loves you.
Tai: Glares at other dog.
Me: Oh sweetie, you are doing so well, you’re such a go— GAAAH
Tai: BARK — LUNGE — SNARL! Goes batshit crazy.
Me (under my breath): @#%#$^Q@#$!
Me (to other owner): Sorry! Your dog is SO lovely! Sorry about that, my dog can be a little… feisty sometimes. Did I say I’m sorry?
Tai: Looks back at dog. Pees.
I think that Tai wasn’t socialized properly when she was a little puppy, and the times she was in and out of the shelters made her nervous. She will attack pretty much any dog (including a poor lame AND blind dog whose owner had to pull her hind legs in order for her to walk. True story). There are a few dogs she *tolerates*, but I think having Bud (a Shihtzu!) will be good for her, and hopefully for him. When they met last week Tai growled a bit, but in general didn’t try to attack and maim Bud, which I see as a good sign.
I’m happy that the roomate is a very patient, calm guy. He was great with Tai and was very sweet and had a steadying influence on her. And Bud is just a darling; happy and easygoing. Although I have a feeling there will be more stories to tell before I can proclaim that we are all one big, happy household.
My dog, my depression
Having a pet was one of the things that I always imagined myself doing when I was mature, and more established and stable, and less… crazy. Late last year, I decided that heck, I’m getting older and it’s time to stop waiting for my future to get here, because duh, in the future, my past would be right now and I want to do things NOW in order to get to where I envision myself THEN; if not nothing is ever going to happen [or as Bob Dylan put it (a little less eloquently I might say - hee) 'Life is what happens while you're making other plans'. I could have saved you a paragraph full of nonsense if I had just gone with that first].
The selection and adoption process took a long time because I live in an apartment with no yard, and apparently that makes you something akin to a leper to a lot of animal organizations. [Now, I understand that they want the dogs that they look after to be happy, but for goodness sakes, between the choice of say, having to hold your pee until your loving owner gets to walk you, or being euthanised because there are not enough resources for you, I would take the former]. I had some restrictions in terms of the type of dog I could get because of my apartment rules – basically under 25 lbs and they had to be housebroken. I was also looking for a very laid back dog, who shared my sang-froid demeanor and who could laze around in the apartment contentedly while I worked.
Enter Tai. When I saw her pictures, I was a little skeptical because she looked like she could get into trouble. But she was such adorable trouble that I couldn’t help and make the 2 hour trip to go meet her, and then adopt her right on the spot. I remember that while at the humane society, she had grown ulcers on her skin because she was so stressed, and on that first trip home she was shaking so much her mouth rattled. I thought: poor doggie, I can totally relate; I said to myself that even if she chewed up my favorite boots, ate all the pieces and pooped them out one by one, I would always try to be good to her.
It’s great to have her to come home to. If I had an awesome day, or one of those gut-wrenching, terrible days, she’s always there shaking her tail and wanting to play and go for a walk. She can sense when I’m sad and will lay her little head on my arm and stare at me with the cutest eyes. Tai also gets me out and about even when I don’t feel like it, and I’m always the better for it afterward (except that one time when it was zero freaking Fahrenheit and we both wanted to go back into the house, so she PRETENDED to pee to go back in and I had to call her bluff, because damn it! she had to know who’s the boss). When I’m tired of life, she takes me outside of myself and reminds me that when I adopted her I chose to take responsibility of her, above and beyond anything that is happening with me. It is a nice to feel needed, even in that small way.
I understand now when people say that there is nothing like a pet’s unconditional love – they love you completely, accepting you for who you are, mistakes and all. They can’t tell that you are a loser or that you hate yourself or that they got stuck with a broken owner, because you are the center of their universe. They give and take love with no expectations and no judgments. When I got Tai, I never expected to love her so much, or that I was to be in some ways dependent on her, the same way she is on me.
Settling in
Now that the little bean is living with us, Tai has gotten jealous of all the attention he is getting. When I got Tai they told me she had been turned in by her previous owners because she peed on their new baby’s toys, and it completely annoyed me that some people are that irresponsible and inattentive to the needs of their dogs — obviously it was a jealousy issue and Tai just needed some reassurance that she was still part of the metaphorical pack. So I’ve been trying to include her in everything as much as possible so she doesn’t feel left out. Cooing the words “baby girl you are so cute” while swaddling her might also have happened.
(Parenthetical aside: that reminds me, I was googling more about dogs and jealousy and came across an owner who was asking what to do, because her chihuahua was peeing… ON her baby. Some people are fucked up – when do you think it might have crossed their head, to, you know — keep the baby away from the dog?).
Tai’s attitude towards the baby at first was jealousy – (in a totally unrelated note, surprise! I always imagine Tai’s voice as being very English lady. So feel free to read the following in a proper British accent) “what is that lump doing on my sofa! why is my mom holding that lumpy bastard while she could be scratching my belly? I shall pee in my wrath over her newly professionally cleaned carpet and make her come over” – then curiosity – “whilst cocking her head — why is that THING crying? why does it smell like poop?” – then indifference – “Hmmph for a thing that only eats and pees and poops and cries he’s not so bad“.
That was until today, when my sister sent me a picture that melted my heart (which I wish I could include but I can’t because I’m stupid like that and don’t have an image host) of Tai sitting, very still, watching over the baby. How very kumbayah.
It’s only crazy when it’s other people
I have been sucked into the madness that is being a dog owner. I confess I used to be a complete cynic when I saw people doting on their dogs on the street, rolling my mind’s eye and looking down upon the masses of brainwashed people who treated their dog as their child. “Wake up, people!” I would think. “Stop sublimating your need for love and approval into your feelings for your dog!”. Of course, all that cynicism came back and peed defiantly on my carpet in the form of an adorable 4 year old beagle.
I can feel myself turning into one of THEM. First, there was the time I bought her the automatic kong dispenser for while I was away at work. Then, came the sweater, which I swore I would never buy (that she needs because winters here are bitterly cold), because I throw up a little in my mouth every time I see a dog dressed like a baby. The last straw was when I actually bought a dvd for the dog. Let me reiterate — a dvd, for MY DOG. I had been reading stuff online and felt guilty that she had no mental stimulus while I wasn’t there, so I got one of those crazy “While you’re away” dvd’s for her (which by the way, she completely ignored). Finally, I reached the lowest of lows yesterday when I referred to the little bean as Tai’s cousin.
It’s been about six months since I got Tai, and she has been awesome so far. Next frontier to reach crazy dog mom status: a dog stroller* and weekly trips to the salon to get our nails painted together. Ooh, a business idea: doggie bjorns. Hello, early retirement!
* To clarify, I think this is a terrible idea for healthy dogs.
