This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper
Before I knew that the line in the title referred to an H-bomb, I always thought it was an apt description for a lot of situations in life. I remember hearing from my English teacher in high school that once you write something, it’s not your own anymore and it bears different meanings to everyone who reads it. To me, this line summarizes quiet desperation. How sometimes you expect the end to come amongst pomp and circumstance, but what you don’t know is that the ending started just as soon as everything began and it sneaks up on you. And to cap it all off, you not only lose what you have, you also lose what you might have had, and that is infinitely harder.
During yoga class this week, my teacher talked about how you should cultivate a sense of detachment. In this case she wasn’t referring to not connecting with anything or anyone, but detachment in the sense that you should not be too invested on the outcome of situations. It’s a lesson I need to learn.
I also need to trust that things often work out for the best, and that there is a plan for me. I just wish God would clue me in on it sometimes (:
Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder
So I’ve been very chipper lately. Chipper here, chipper there, chipper chipper everywhere. This is amazing considering that I am in the midst of finals, and research, and holiday parties, and gift buying and of course, roomate drama.
It’s madness, but I get to go home next week, and my first semester is over and (pending on finals) it looks like I will actually pass. Yay!
T-14
I am so happy to be going home for the holidays, and so very blessed that I’ve been always able to make it there every year. This year we will all be together for the first time in ages, plus it’s the little bean’s first Christmas and baptism! So it will be extra special.
The one worry I have is Tai. I will be gone for more than 2 weeks and most of my friends are travelling during the holidays, and honestly, I am a little embarrassed to ask anyone to take care of her for that long. I didn’t want to leave her in a kennel either, especially (the horror!) over Christmas (I know, this is completely irrational as Tai can’t tell it’s the most specialest time of the year. But the idea of my little girl being walled up in a bleak kennel when I will be a) tanning at the beach b) having a belly full of turkey c) surrounded by all the people I adore the most in this world, makes me really sad). So I found someone who can pet sit at her house at a reasonable rate and who is a dog lover. The problem with the dog lover part is that she has three german shepherds who I’m sure are going to scare Tai to death initially. In general though I think it will be a very good idea for her to have to socialize and live with that many other dogs. It will build her character (isn’t that the excuse every parent gives?) (:
