On complications
When I wrote that I thought there would be more stories to tell, I imagined they would have to do with coming home and finding blood splattered all over the walls, with both Tai and Bud lying stigmata-like on the floor. It never crossed my mind that it would have to do with the roomate and myself. Naively (as my therapist and everybody and their mother have been telling me), I didn’t foresee the possibility that there might be some attraction going on. It’s made things very awkward, and I hate not being able to be at my home and just relax. I find myself avoiding going home or hiding up in my room.
Even though we have talked about it, and we know that things are not going happen between us, that feeling of weirdness is still there. If anyone has any ideas of how to deal with a situation like this, I would love to hear them, because this is more drama than I want in my life.
Encounters of the Third Kind
[Backstory # 1. Out on a walk with Tai and Bud. Not dark, at all. Suddenly, out of nowhere a... cement pig comes into view]
Me: Weird, what people put in their lawns. But now that I think about it, this is nothing compared to the giant penis made out of Christmas lights.
Tai: That thing strange. I has to investigate. Stops, crouches.
Me: Hee, how cute, Tai thinks it’s real.
Tai: Im huge and tall. I intimidate unidentified standing object into submission. Stares at pig unwaveringly.
Me: Bless her little heart, I say five minutes before she figures it out.
Tai: Why pig thing ignoring me? Tai make it movey. Sun-Tzu says best defense is offense. Stands still and cocks her head, indicating she just the most Brilliant! Idea! Ever:
TAI HEADBUT THING!
[ Headbuts.
Pause..........
Headbuts.
Pause..........
Headbuts.]
Me: Keels over, laughing
Tai: Gets closer to pig. Sniffs. Thinks about it. Thing come in peace. Tai give permission to stay.
Bud: Oooh lookey, a butterfly!
———————————————————————————————
[Backstory # 2. After each walk I bring in Tai through the patio door which has a screen. That's all you need to know. Start scene ]
Tai: I wants home! Wag, wag, prance.Tai roll on carpet and scratchey back and eat jerky while Mom rubs belly! Wag, jump, runs ahead.
Me: Ok Tai, let me unleash you first.
Tai: Ooh, no leash, must run, must get home before Bud, Tai hungry, Tai want to go….. SPLAAAATTTTTT on screen.
Me: Keels over laughing, again.
Tai: Shakes it off. Pig put invisible magnetic shield on. Not nice no more. Rubs eyes with her paws.
Me: Still laughing
Tai: Tai obey superior beings. Me stay outside. Tai scared.
Me: Ok, I opened the screen door silly. Go in. Tai, I said go in. It’s open, see? I’m putting my hand through the doorway. Now I’m putting my other hand. Now I’m doing the hokey pokey.
Tai: Sits there.
Me: Damn it Tai, it’s open now! Will you just budge a little bit? Look Tai! I went inside just fine and I didn’t get hurt. Now I’m standing with half of me inside and half of me outside.
Tai: Me not tricked easy. Mom dummy. She split in half by shield.
Me: You will come in if I have to push, pull or prod you with a cattle stick!
[In here I feel the need to explain that Tai can be one stubborn little bitch. She has the power of 80 horses on her legs, and could hold her own against a sumo wrestler].
Me: Ok fine. You can just sit there, while I rub Bud’s belly and give him beef jerky.
Tai: Mom mine. Mom no touch Bud. I has to beat Shihtzu up. Tai stronger than door, Tai use Force like Yoda.
Tai: Jumps in one fell swoop, and lands inside, amazed. I has the force.
Me: Sheesh, finally. Pats Tai on head.
Tai: Beef jerky!! Wait, wheres belly rub?
Sister, sister (Never knew how much I missed her)
I have now been sister-less for two days, as my baby sis just went back home to start her senior (shit, I am old) year in high school. Before that, I had had my other sisters here with me for about 3 months. So I am attributing this post to the nostalgia that comes from having four months of awesomeness with them, and not to the fact that if there were a category for the cheesiest person ever, I would win over someone carved out of a cheddar core, wrapped in swiss, stuffed with blue cheese and then baked in a brie.
Of course I miss them like crazy, but I know that we all have our own thing going on, so I am trying to look at the bright side and just be very thankful that I had this perfect summer with them. I come from a family of 5, and the range of our ages is wide – I am older by 11 years and 13 years than my little sister and brother respectively. When I came to the US, my baby sis was a wee little creature with pigtails and her cute/nauseating little Barney lunchbox. I have missed such a big chunk of her life, that even though we had always been close in the way that only family can be, I didn’t know her very well. So it was fun to spend time with her and get to know her as the sweet, hard working, creative, crazy and foul mouthed girl that she has grown to be.
I got to freaking live in the same place with my second sister after almost 10 years, and saw firsthand what a great mom she is turning out to be, how she is the epitome of grace under pressure and how patient and kind she has become (except for that one time, when she had a contraction and she asked me not to breathe near her because I had had coffee. And then she apologized about that. While SHE WAS IN LABOR. Seriously I would have been cursing like a sailor and making inappropriate hand gestures, and then being all like, bitch, you owe me an apology because YOU breached the inner sanctum that is birth by breathing on ME) . I got to see my third sister, if only briefly, who is always full of fun and is still the person who makes me laugh hardest in this world, and just be amazed at how driven and smart and wonderful she is.
I am so, SO proud of them, and miss them like heck. I love my baby sisters! And if I could magically have everything my way we would all be leading the exact same lives but living in the same town, on the same block, next to each other. And live happily ever after. THE END.
*Yes, the title is from the theme song of the ridiculously awful sitcom with Tia and Tamara Mowry. Dish me some of that, with some Full House whipped cream and a Saved by the Bell cherry on top and that’s a happy afternoon for me.
Off the meds, part deux
So it’s been about 3 weeks since I’ve been off Prozac, and so far so good. I think it helps that I have so many things to do that I don’t even have time to be depressed. My friends and family haven’t noticed any change in my behavior, so I am happy that at least outwardly things are the same. I have noticed some really slight changes, like when I’m screwing up I think “you’re so stupid” again, and I have a tendency to say “I hate myself” more. Also, I am not as comfortable in social situations anymore, but again these are very slight.
I have it that much easier than other people, and I am so thankful for that. But the true test comes in 2 weeks when classes start. Now that will be interesting.
Becoming a statistic, kind of
If all goes through, by next week I will be living in a two person, two kid, two car household. Except the other person will be my guy roomate, and the kids will be our dogs. It’s funny how you envision things happening and they come true, but not in the ways you thought they would. God is sneaky that way.
I interviewed the roomate and he seemed like a great guy. I have never roomed (or lived for that matter) with a guy before, so I’m a little apprehensive. I’m glad that he has a dog though, because I think it’s great that both of them will have company during the day. It will definitely take some adjusting – Tai is extremely territorial, and not exactly great with other dogs. When we’re out on a walk, it usually goes:
Me: Oh look honey, there’s a big ass labrador coming this way, be nice, ok? Be a good girl
Tai: Hackles raise up, crouches down
Me: Yeah, ok let’s go to the other side of the street, just in case. Tai, did you notice how she is bigger than you by a factor of 3?
Tai: Must. Protect. My. Territory. Labradors bad. They stinky.
Me (in a sing-song voice): I bet the lab is so nice, she looks so friendly! Crouches down to pet Tai. Good girl, good girl, be calm Tai. Mom loves you.
Tai: Glares at other dog.
Me: Oh sweetie, you are doing so well, you’re such a go— GAAAH
Tai: BARK — LUNGE — SNARL! Goes batshit crazy.
Me (under my breath): @#%#$^Q@#$!
Me (to other owner): Sorry! Your dog is SO lovely! Sorry about that, my dog can be a little… feisty sometimes. Did I say I’m sorry?
Tai: Looks back at dog. Pees.
I think that Tai wasn’t socialized properly when she was a little puppy, and the times she was in and out of the shelters made her nervous. She will attack pretty much any dog (including a poor lame AND blind dog whose owner had to pull her hind legs in order for her to walk. True story). There are a few dogs she *tolerates*, but I think having Bud (a Shihtzu!) will be good for her, and hopefully for him. When they met last week Tai growled a bit, but in general didn’t try to attack and maim Bud, which I see as a good sign.
I’m happy that the roomate is a very patient, calm guy. He was great with Tai and was very sweet and had a steadying influence on her. And Bud is just a darling; happy and easygoing. Although I have a feeling there will be more stories to tell before I can proclaim that we are all one big, happy household.
I hate cats
You could also change the title of this entry to “I hate everything that I am allergic to” which would include the whole wide world. Ok, so I tend to exaggerate, but I did the pricking test and my whole back got swollen with hives, so much so that the nurse was like – ‘ Well, the good news is that the doctor is going to love you!’ Amongst other things, I’m allergic to ragweed, pollen, grass, hypocrites, people who can’t laugh at themselves and Miley Cyrus (ok, maybe I made the last couple up, but I do always feel my eyes rolling and my throat gagging when I encounter them. That’s kind of like an allergic reaction, isn’t it?). So, recap: I’m allergic to a lot of crap.
Right now, my hatred is particularly concentrated on one cat, and I do hate to speak ill of the dead (and possibly adorable), but that darned cat is making my new condo unlivable for me. I can just imagine it prancing around just shaking its thick, glossy coat, shedding hair gleefully on every single corner and rolling in ecstasy over the carpet while purring and thinking “Aha, I will exact my revenge on the future owner of this house by rubbing over every single inch of floor and then going over it again and licking it!” I am hoping that after a vigorous cleaning most of the eau de cat will be gone, because my allergy pills aren’t helping that much. It sucks that instead of having that new-ownership glow the only glisten I have is that of my tears as they roll down my cheeks. Because of a cat that I HAVE NEVER MET.
Otherwise, the new place is awesome. Yesterday I got the cutest welcome to the neighborhood ever when a little family of ducks marched down my patio. Eh, I don’t care that my eyes water or that the skin around my nose is raw because I’m a cheapo and I buy kleenex with the consistency of sandpaper – I have ducks! I already named the babies Dewey, Cheetham and Howe (bonus points if you get the reference).
