Misnomer?
Perhaps calling this blog “the depression diaries” was a bad choice. According to most of the checklists that I have found, I am no longer medically depressed and only mildly dysthymic (See this link). It’s hard to say why I chose this name. To me, being depressed is a part of my personality make-up; reading the list of symptoms, I can say without a doubt that I’ve been depressed for the largest part of my life, even when I was a wee girl. Crying all the time – check. Feeling worthless -check. Lack of energy and slugishness – check. Thoughts of death or suicide – check. Hopelessness and empty feeling – check, check.
I guess a better name for the blog (which of course I’m not going to change because I’m lazy and a procrastinator – and no, the laziness is innate, not a symptom of depression) would be “The depression diaries (kinda)”. I have hit a better place emotionally; but the demarcation between where I end and depression begins is not a clear line, it’s a huge gray area. I feel when I am writing about my life and thoughts (as inane and completely absurd as they are sometimes), there is no way to distinguish between myself and the illness that has had the most influence in shaping me into who I am today.
